Moses
I’m Moses, the leader of Israel,
God told me to give men the law.
Though the way that they often ignored it,
I’m tempted to wonder what for.
We couldn’t ignore it in my day,
We couldn’t just leave it alone.
We had to take all of it with us,
On dirty great tablets of stone.
We often took walks in the desert,
And one of them took many years.
So we carried the tablets of stone in a box,
Though carrying it drove us to tears.
It wasn’t that we were ungrateful,
We’d obey all the laws if we could;
But it would have been easier
If they’d been carved,
Not in stone, but in light balsa wood.
Still … we mustn’t complain, no nor grumble,
For by night we were led by a fire;
But I wished that the box with the stones in,
Had a wheel and a pneumatic tire.
As months turned to years in the desert,
My party was really dead beat.
They were shattered and covered in blisters,
They really had horrible feet.
They said, “Moses, you promised to take us,
Into the long promised land.
But all that we’ve seen on this trip up to date,
Is mountains … and deserts … and sand”.
I said to them, “Do stop your moaning.
All you lot just jabber and talk.
Enjoy all the beautiful scenery,
And pretend that you’re out for a walk.
Well, that shut them up for a minute;
But then, when they thought of the stones,
They all started shouting and bawling.
They all had a case of the moans.
They were angry, and getting rebellious,
It was worse than a really bad dream;
Then we came to the old River Jordan,
Where the grass was all luscious and green.
I only looked on from a distance,
I was old then and feeling quite ill;
But I looked down upon it in pleasure,
From the top of a really big hill.
I died there …!
You’d think I’d be tearful,
And morbid, and dreadfully sad;
But the truth of the matter was different.
In fact you could say I was glad.
When they buried me there I was peaceful,
And had no excuse for the moans;
‘Cos at last I had nothing to carry.
No clothing … no money … and NO STONES.
© 1997 Dick Underwood
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