Funny Poems

Funny Poems

Piddling Pete

Submitted by Visitor on

A famous dog once came to town
Known to his friends as Pete
His pedigree was ten yards long
His looks were hard to beat

And as he trotted down the road
'twas beautiful to see
His work at every corner
Every post and every tree

He never missed a land mark
He never missed a post
For piddling was his masterpiece
And piddling pleased him most

The city dogs stood looking on
In deep and jealous rage
To see this little country dog
The piddler of his age

Poems: 

With Her Head Tucked Underneath Her Arm

Submitted by Visitor on

In the Tower of London large as life,
The Ghost of Anne Boleyn walks they declare.
For Anne Boleyn was once King Henry's wife,
Until he made the headsman bob her hair!
Ah, yes, he did her wrong, long years ago
And, she comes up at night to tell him soooo!

With her head tucked underneath her arm
She walks the Bloody Tower
With her head tucked underneath her arm
At the midnight hour.

Poems: 

Exploring A New World

Submitted by Visitor on

Exploring A New World

How can you tell, that by biting a worm
The taste and sensation, will make you squirm?

How can you tell you’ll get burned, if it’s your desire,
To stick your hand into a fire ?

How can you tell, when you throw your food on the floor,
That your mum will shout at you, once more ?

How can you tell what lives beneath a stone,
If, when you turn it, the creatures go scurrying home ?

How can you tell, at the seaside, when you try to grab,
There are claws that pinch you, attached to a crab?

Poems: 

On Track

Submitted by Visitor on

ON TRACK

It was announced to gathered dignitaries, from across the World,
As the pre-ambling was almost done…
“…And the 2012 Olympic Games
is awarded…to the city of London”.

The crowd erupted, in rapturous applause,
The British ensemble patted each other on the back,
Then realisation suddenly hit them..
“Blimey !…We’ve got to build a running track”.

The following day, they held a meeting,
And appointed as leader, Lord Sebastian Coe;
Gave him a shovel, and a pick-axe,
And said, “Right…off you go !”

Poems: 

Smile

Submitted by Visitor on

SMILE

I’ll tickle you, beneath your chin,
To see if I can make you grin;

I’ll look, for a sign of any traces,
When I start to make funny faces.

I’ll do my best, a gesture to coax
By telling you my silly jokes.

If there’s no response…well anything goes…
I’ll remove your socks, and tickle your toes.

That’ll be followed, in my haste,
As I gently grab you round the waist.

I’ll carry on like this, for quite a while,
And eventually, I know you’ll smile.

© Jim Bell

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